There is a chill in the air. Very quickly tiny bumps form
and the hairs on my arms become more visible. I did not notice the air
conditioning until just now.
I’ve been overheated for weeks,
Constantly serving and working
To keep a flame ignited.
I am relieved to have an opportunity to rest with my
thoughts that come in waves—to feel the air caress my skin.
I take a deep breath and allow that same air to fill my
lungs and soften the tension that infiltrates every muscle and fiber; an
extended dip in a pool, head under, without the fear of drowning. My right foot
begins to vibrate and becomes numb.
I think it’s falling asleep. That must be where my
intelligence lies because sleep is exactly what I need—to forget the outside
world for an extended period of time and heal myself through full relaxation.
I’m shaking. The cold is becoming uncomfortable. Breathing
feels unnatural.
As I give this time to myself I become aware that it feels
wrong, like I am naked in a room of people who pretend to be deep in conversation.
I am vulnerable to their judgment in my choice to befriend the wind. Maybe I
should take caution.
The air whispers, “No, be brave. Be you. And just put on a
sweater.”
We’ll embrace in a hug.
And in that moment I find within myself the thing that exists
called love.
