Breathing

There is a chill in the air. Very quickly tiny bumps form and the hairs on my arms become more visible. I did not notice the air conditioning until just now.

I’ve been overheated for weeks,

Constantly serving and working

To keep a flame ignited.

I am relieved to have an opportunity to rest with my thoughts that come in waves—to feel the air caress my skin.

I take a deep breath and allow that same air to fill my lungs and soften the tension that infiltrates every muscle and fiber; an extended dip in a pool, head under, without the fear of drowning. My right foot begins to vibrate and becomes numb.

I think it’s falling asleep. That must be where my intelligence lies because sleep is exactly what I need—to forget the outside world for an extended period of time and heal myself through full relaxation.

I’m shaking. The cold is becoming uncomfortable. Breathing feels unnatural.

As I give this time to myself I become aware that it feels wrong, like I am naked in a room of people who pretend to be deep in conversation. I am vulnerable to their judgment in my choice to befriend the wind. Maybe I should take caution.

The air whispers, “No, be brave. Be you. And just put on a sweater.”

We’ll embrace in a hug.

And in that moment I find within myself the thing that exists called love.