Friday, August 25, 2017

Breathing

There is a chill in the air. Very quickly tiny bumps form and the hairs on my arms become more visible. I did not notice the air conditioning until just now.
I’ve been overheated for weeks,
Constantly serving and working
To keep a flame ignited.
I am relieved to have an opportunity to rest with my thoughts that come in waves—to feel the air caress my skin.
I take a deep breath and allow that same air to fill my lungs and soften the tension that infiltrates every muscle and fiber; an extended dip in a pool, head under, without the fear of drowning. My right foot begins to vibrate and becomes numb.
I think it’s falling asleep. That must be where my intelligence lies because sleep is exactly what I need—to forget the outside world for an extended period of time and heal myself through full relaxation.
I’m shaking. The cold is becoming uncomfortable. Breathing feels unnatural.
As I give this time to myself I become aware that it feels wrong, like I am naked in a room of people who pretend to be deep in conversation. I am vulnerable to their judgment in my choice to befriend the wind. Maybe I should take caution.
The air whispers, “No, be brave. Be you. And just put on a sweater.”
We’ll embrace in a hug.

And in that moment I find within myself the thing that exists called love.


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