Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Perceptions Create Us or Destroy Us

Our bodies are beautiful.
Let me repeat that.
Our bodies are beautiful.

When I say “Our” that includes You and Me. Yes, our bodies are truly beautiful. Often times I find myself waking each morning with a new perception of how my body looks, depending on how bloated or flat my stomach feels; how clear, dry, soft, or bumpy my complexion is; how long and lean my legs feel or how broad and masculine my shoulders feel- my perception is ever shifting. And though it’s a blessing to have working limbs, muscles, and organs that keep me moving, growing, creating, and living, I tend to neglect that fact.

I look upon my body as some sort of curse. Rather than embrace my God given beauty and appreciate the health that I do have, I mentally tear myself apart into decrepit fragments, for which I become
an ugly, useless being,
a poisonous apple,
a vessel for rejection.

I have a scar on my face, located right above the bridge of my nose, between my eyes. I cannot un-see this, a scar remaining from the eleven stitches I once had. There it has been since I was three years old-one of my earliest memories. I also have permanent stretch marks and scarring along my lower hips and upper thighs, as a result of the constant growing pains I endured, even through my first year of college. I currently have a blemish on my face from stressing this morning and sweating on my afternoon run.

And who cares?

How amazing is it that my body is so resilient that after splitting my head open at the age of three, all that is left is a little scar? How amazing is it that I went through what it takes to receive stretch marks from growing pains- to have grown to a height of five foot ten and become the tallest female in my family? How amazing is it that through all the stress I allow myself to feel, all I am left with is a measly blemish? How amazing is it that I have what it takes to run and breathe?

My body is beautiful for all that it does and for all of its flaws.
Your body is beautiful for all that it does and for all of its flaws.

There was a lady at the gym in the same vicinity as me; calmly stretching as I did some brief meditation and abdominal work. She was at least three times the size of me, and she was beautiful. I’m not sure there was a single limb on her body that could be described as “slim”, but goodness was she limber.  This woman could stretch and contort herself in ways I could not dream of doing, and I had to stop myself from staring. She was absolutely comfortable in her body and I could see self-love and grace flowing through every fiber of her being. She glowed. And there I sat having just been thinking, “I’m not good enough, I must focus on somehow getting a more muscular and flatter stomach”, yada yada yada.

Mentally I shifted gears right away. Just like that I looked at my reflection in the clear wall to my right and said to myself with both ease and ferocity, “You are enough. You are beautiful. The end.”

I then turned to the lady beside me, who was stretched out along the gym floor with her large PDX carpet printed shirt, looked her in the eyes, and we exchanged the most warm and knowing smiles. I mentally thanked her for being such a beautiful woman of strength and flexibility, and she mentally thanked me for being a beautiful woman of hope and cardio stamina.

I then looked to my legs, stretched my arms as far as they could go, only barely touching my toes, and thanked my legs for supporting me on the treadmill and in my every day ventures.

Instead of finishing my work out and sweating more, I discerned that I’d worked out something much more important- the undeniable beauty of the human body, and I immediately made my way home so that I could sit and write it down. And though I know in the morning I will be tempted to wake up and immediately Destroy myself as I look in the mirror, I am choosing to instead behold the beauty bestowed upon me, and be the Creator I am meant to be.


I sincerely hope that you choose to do the same- to be a vessel for acceptance and grace. For how can we truly recognize and appreciate the beauty of others if we cannot recognize and embrace our own?

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